Attention World Cuppists

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klingon
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Re: Attention World Cuppists

Post by klingon » Thu Jun 24, 2010 8:53 pm

Theres a great T shirt available here in Glasgow-shows all the world cuppists badges on it with one exception-and the logo underneath?-"Anyone But England"-- :lol: Braveheart is alive and well and living in Sauchiehall Street. :D
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Jordangbr
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Re: Attention World Cuppists

Post by Jordangbr » Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:20 pm

klingon wrote:Theres a great T shirt available here in Glasgow-shows all the world cuppists badges on it with one exception-and the logo underneath?-"Anyone But England"-- :lol: Braveheart is alive and well and living in Sauchiehall Street. :D
Or as my mate calls it Sausage Roll Street....... :lol:
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bluebirdsback
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Re: Attention World Cuppists

Post by bluebirdsback » Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:43 pm

[quote]what is the world cup.

Not too sure how to explain the world cup but for the uninitiated i can explain the principle of F1.
Get a piece of string and some coloured beads. Thread the beads on the string. Lift one end of the string and see which order the beads reach the other end of the string. Hey presto, all the excitement of F1 in your living room.
To make it more authentic, try putting just one bead on at a time to find out which one is the fastest down the string to start with. That one would then go on the string first.
Last edited by bluebirdsback on Fri Jun 25, 2010 5:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Attention World Cuppists

Post by orgster1 » Fri Jun 25, 2010 12:39 am

I have always felt a little sorry for Billy Wallace after first hearing about him at school (In the days before English history was rewritten every day by lunch time so that we can keep apologising for what England allegedly did in history). I was impressed with his enthusiasm and it’s a pity he got over excited and went to pieces in the end. :roll:

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Renegadenemo
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Re: Attention World Cuppists

Post by Renegadenemo » Fri Jun 25, 2010 11:30 pm

Not too sure how to explain the world cup but for the uninitiated
That's an easy one...

What's supposed to be a team game is reproduced by firstly splitting all the teams up and sending the best players back from whence they came then making a new team out of the dregs. Of course they're not really a team because that requires regular practice but it's the best of a bad job. Then all of these hurriedly assembled 'teams' are pitted against one another for weeks on end with most of the matches decided not by playing the team game but with a shoot out after two dreary hours of grown men legging it up and down after a ball until one lot get to take home a trophy than looks like a badly poached egg on a plinth. Little wonder they can only be bothered with it once in every four years!
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mtskull
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Re: Attention World Cuppists

Post by mtskull » Sat Jun 26, 2010 11:33 am

klingon wrote: Braveheart is alive and well and living in Sauchiehall Street. :D
If Wallace really were alive and well, he would be more likely to be urging Scotland to knuckle down and prepare for success next time, rather than just be content to wish failure on England.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.

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Re: Attention World Cuppists

Post by tas » Sat Jun 26, 2010 1:09 pm

mtskull wrote:
klingon wrote: Braveheart is alive and well and living in Sauchiehall Street. :D
If Wallace really were alive and well, he would be more likely to be urging Scotland to knuckle down and prepare for success next time, rather than just be content to wish failure on England.
Apparently there are also tshirts on sale with a large SNP logo with the acronym explained as 'Scotland Not Playing'.
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Pullman99
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Re: Attention World Cuppists

Post by Pullman99 » Sun Jun 27, 2010 9:52 am

New Football Rules – Proposed amendments. Some random thoughts on the how to improve the appeal of football

by Pullman99

Having observed the game of football for several minutes now during the Wolds Cup Finals, I have come to the conclusion that a host of changes need to take place if interest in this sure to be fascinating game is to be sustained. For consideration I have listed these proposed changes here in the hope that one, possibly two people may respond. The present concept of having just two teams of eleven play each other at the same time seems a bit limited in scope. The only really limiting factor is the size of the playing surface – I believe this is called a pitch – so you could easily accommodate more teams without the added expense of rebuilding existing facilities. For purely practical purposes, however, I propose that only seven teams take part in each game.

Proposal 1: Limit the number of teams in each game to a maximum of seven.

Now, one of the aspects of football that I have noticed is that there is a great deal of pushing and shoving and the use of feet seems to be only a fairly small element of the play itself. I have also observed that, by and large, many players never actually get near the ball itself. Actually quite a few of the players seem to hog it a bit more than is really necessary. This seems to make almost all of the players very unhappy. So, in order to make it much more enjoyable for everyone, and to remove the potential for any individual to dominate proceedings, I propose that all of the players are given a ball. One each should suffice.

Proposal 2: Give every player a ball to kick around instead of using just the one for everybody.

Another element of the game as played at present apparently involves those net thingies at each end of the field. As I understand it, the objective – up to now at any rate – has been to make the ball cross the line and into the net. Clearly, many teams are having difficulty with this concept and I believe that some teams and players never succeed in getting the ball anywhere near this point despite trying for ages. It has also been observed that even this activity can be unnecessarily hampered by something called the “outside rule” which apparently nobody is able to adequately explain. If the ball does get there, sometimes it is noted by slipping through the fingers of the colourfully dressed player who stands around in that area quite a lot, this seems to polarise opinion amongst the game’s spectators (or hooligans as they are more commonly known). One result of this is that a considerable percentage of the spectators are observed to be even more miserable than usual but with the remainder often leaping up and down with glee and uttering words of encouragement to the miserable lot along the lines of: “you’re going down; you’re going down; you’re going down…” Such open sexual invitations may be acceptable in countries like Holland, but over here we’ve got standards. So, to remove this potentially dangerous outcome I propose to scrap these nets altogether and, to avoid obvious confusion, make these so-called “goalkeepers” dress exactly the same as everyone else.

Proposal 3: To scrap the “goalposts” and nets so that the pitch is the same all the way round.

One major change that does need to happen is to find ways of maintaining spectator interest. This is especially important for the matches that appear on television that are timed to clash with just about every programme that you would really rather be watching. And they’re far too long. 90 minutes really only benefits the sale of paint at B&Q so that most TV viewers can watch it dry and avoid falling asleep. I therefore propose that the length of a match is drastically cut to 10% of its present duration and that no extra time is played whatsoever. Nine minute matches take up no time at all and therefore free up great swathes of the day for more creative pursuits with obvious major benefits for family life. To achieve this, there would be no half time. All of the players would be on the pitch at the same time, but limited (as defined earlier) to a maximum of seven teams. Each player would have a ball. I’ve noticed that before the present “kick-off” they do this sort of thing now anyway. The objective would be for the player to kick the ball around – but retaining it within the marked pitch. They start with a score of, say, 100 and are deducted points for transgressions such as kicking another player or for the ball going outside the pitch. You can add all sorts of individual points deducting scenarios. The possibilities are endless. For example, a player experiencing a “life expiry” moment during the game would not have any points deducted but only if they immediately lie down. If they remain vertical it makes it very difficult for the observer to distinguish between death and normal play. In such circumstances, the offending player will be suspended for the next two games and may be required to pay a fine. Each team’s remaining points are then totalled and the results recorded in a championship table. Obviously, such a system will require additional observers, or referees as I believe they’re called, as each player will need their own observer. At a stroke this would not only ensure that each player is individually monitored during the entire match but that up to 77 referees would be needed for every match, thus contributing positively to reducing unemployment.

Proposal 4: Reduce the duration of matches to 9 minutes to avoid “paint drying” type scenarios.

Penalties seem mostly, unless it benefits England, to be awarded both indiscriminately and unnecessarily. They also usually don’t seem to work very well. My proposal is, therefore, to allow any offending player having “accidentally” kicked or tripped a member of one of the other teams to regain any points lost by the offence by taking a corner. This will, from now on, require the player to stand in the corner but facing the audience. Here they will recite poetry for a minimum of one minute or for a duration to be determined by the observer. Any uplifting work, for example by Ted Hughes or Philip Larkin, will do – again chosen by the observer – and points will be awarded for style and presentation. This action will encourage a more enlightened and cultured view of such actions amongst players and have the additional benefit of increasing awareness of football amongst the BBC2 type of audience.

Proposal 5: To replace “penalties” with “corners” thus saving a huge amount of time and avoiding the embarrassment of players bursting into tears when they miss.

Finally, the Vuvuzela Rule

Clearly there does need to be some sort of overall control of player and spectator etiquette. For this reason, no vuvuzela sellers will be allowed to set up a sales stand within 20 miles of the match venue. No vuvuzelas will be allowed into the ground and any found will be confiscated. For players, however, a different set of rules will apply. A persistent offender during a match, such as someone who repeatedly steals another player’s ball, will be placed in a room and have a vuvuzela played at them for at least five minutes. On a sliding scale, so to speak but not really possible with a vuvuzela unless you enjoy everything in B flat, each offence would result in an increased length of exposure to vuvuzela punishment up to and including insertion. Blunt end first.

Simple really.

Please note that these suggestions for the wholesale improvement in the popularity of football are outline proposals only. They will, of course, require a formal presentation to the FA before any of these are adopted. Their response is eagerly awaited. Tell us what you think.
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Renegadenemo
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Re: Attention World Cuppists

Post by Renegadenemo » Sun Jun 27, 2010 11:43 am

I always thought they should have multiballs like you get on a pinball table. That might make it interesting. As it happens, we've tracked down a nice country pub that doesn't have a TV but does serve delicious food so we're off there this afternoon.
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Renegadenemo
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Re: Attention World Cuppists

Post by Renegadenemo » Sun Jun 27, 2010 12:38 pm

I shall watch the Formula 1, despite it being relegated to BBC2 because of the ball chasing.
Yeah - took me a mo to find it. Wouldn't you think they'd put the thinking man's sport first...
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"As to reward, my profession is its own reward;" Sherlock Holmes.

'Sometimes you gotta be an S.O.B if you wanna make a dream reality' Mark Knopfler

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