joke of the day

[Jordangbr]

Made me laugh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vh6qXrICfD4

[captainbear]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto stopped in the desert for the night. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. It also seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What's it tell you,Tonto?"

Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you dumber than buffalo ****. It means someone stole tent."

Can't stop laughing at this one Must be the way I tell 'em!!

[bluebirdsback]

Just like the cavalry in the fort call the indian scout to find out whats happening outside.

He puts his ear to the ground and says " Many horses come.
How many asks the general.
50 horses with men wearing grey uniform.
You can tell that by listening to the ground? asks the general
no said the scout, i can see under gate.

[bluebirdsback]

I remeber the good old days. You could go to the shops with a pound and go home with a loaf of bread, half pound of butter. a pound of cheese, 6 eggs , a packet of tea and 20 fags.
You cant do that nowadays.

Too many bloody security cameras.

[rob565uk]

Fred and Joe make a living by erecting large signs made from 3 foot high letters. Accles and Pollock require a new sign and Joe has just finished the 'Accles and' part and requests a letter P from Fred. After a while, Fred calls out "No Ps here, only a B"... "Looks like we slipped up with the London Brick Company this morning then..."

[bluebirdsback]

Hey Itsawrap sweetie, Not that i need them but i have been sold some pills to make me last longer in bed. They realy work too. I took one before bed Saturday and didnt get up till three o clock Sunday afternoon. Just think of the ammount of ironing you could have done for your little stud muffin before our evening session .

[orgster1]

My doctor prescribed me some tablets like that, and they worked a treat I’ve never rolled out of bed once since I started taking them.
Only side effect I had was a swollen tongue but the doc told me I should be swallowing them and not chewing them

[bluebirdsback]

I got one stuck in my throat. Had a stiff neck for three days.

[rob565uk]

A whole vanload of those pills were stolen last week. The Police are said to be looking for a bunch of hardened criminals

[bluebirdsback]

Those people were not hardened criminals. they merely ground up a few pills then chucked the powder into thier eyes to look hard.