joke of the day

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rob565uk
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Location: St Helens, Merseyside

Re: joke of the day

Post by rob565uk » Mon Jul 10, 2017 9:08 am

Actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland:

1.BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT

2..FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.

3.FORM A LOOSE GRIP

4.KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!

5.STAY OUT OF THE WATER.

6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.

7.IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG,
LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU

8.DON'T STAND DIRECTLY
IN FRONT OF OTHERS.

9.QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS
ARE PREPARING.

10.DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.





WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF

When you come to a fork in the road, take it

Steve
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Joined: Sun Jul 09, 2017 12:59 pm

Re: joke of the day

Post by Steve » Fri Jul 14, 2017 7:09 pm

:lol: had me an the Mrs screaming

JohnTheBikeMan
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Re: joke of the day

Post by JohnTheBikeMan » Tue Aug 28, 2018 7:46 pm

A chap takes 2 stuffed dogs to the antiques roadshow day. The 'expert' looks at them, and concludes that they are in very poor condition, but he says to the chap, 'have you any idea what they would fetch, if they were in good condition?''

''A stick'' says he.




I'll get me coat . . .
I am the one who guided you this far
All you know and all you feel
Nobody must know my name
For nobody would understand
And you kill what you feel...

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ted.walsh
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Re: joke of the day

Post by ted.walsh » Sun Sep 02, 2018 6:59 pm

thank god someone has revived this thread. more please...

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Piston Broke
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Piston Broke » Sun Sep 02, 2018 7:31 pm

I think it was the revival of this thread that broke the forum :D
If it can't be fixed with duck tape it can't be fixed
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"
Facebook is to socialising is what masturbation is to sex

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Renegadenemo
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Renegadenemo » Sun Sep 02, 2018 7:46 pm

Well there's the dyslexic pimp who bought a warehouse...😄😄
I'm only a plumber from Cannock...

"As to reward, my profession is its own reward;" Sherlock Holmes.

I have wrought my simple plan
If I give one hour of joy
To the boy who’s half a man,
Or the man who’s half a boy.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

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Piston Broke
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Piston Broke » Sun Sep 02, 2018 8:10 pm

Or the agnostic dyslexic insomniac who stayed up all night to see if there really is a dog
If it can't be fixed with duck tape it can't be fixed
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"
Facebook is to socialising is what masturbation is to sex

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ted.walsh
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Re: joke of the day

Post by ted.walsh » Sun Sep 02, 2018 8:59 pm

:lol:

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Renegadenemo
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Renegadenemo » Sun Sep 02, 2018 9:06 pm

Or the agnostic dyslexic insomniac who stayed up all night to see if there really is a dog
Hey, you know that's one of mine. How about how the Chinese name their kids?
I'm only a plumber from Cannock...

"As to reward, my profession is its own reward;" Sherlock Holmes.

I have wrought my simple plan
If I give one hour of joy
To the boy who’s half a man,
Or the man who’s half a boy.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

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ted.walsh
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:25 am

Re: joke of the day

Post by ted.walsh » Sun Sep 02, 2018 9:12 pm

:? ?

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