joke of the day

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mtskull
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Re: joke of the day

Post by mtskull » Sat Aug 15, 2015 8:02 am

If those are genuine and from QANTAS in 2002, then somebody must have invented time travel, taken them back to 1996 and showed them to me claiming that they were from the US Air Force. :?
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.

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Mike Bull
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Mike Bull » Sat Aug 15, 2015 8:04 am

You just beat me to it- those are as old as the hills, and then some! :roll:

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Renegadenemo
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Renegadenemo » Sat Aug 15, 2015 2:12 pm

Considering who posted them and the likelihood of them being even remotely true perhaps their original source has finally been revealed...
I'm only a plumber from Cannock...

"As to reward, my profession is its own reward;" Sherlock Holmes

Voltaire's apology when he wrote a long letter: "I didn't have time to make it shorter."

quicksilver-wsr
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Re: joke of the day

Post by quicksilver-wsr » Sun Aug 16, 2015 3:49 pm

Not a joke in the traditional sense, but the funniest thing today was Gordon Brown making a speech. The bugger just can't stand still.

http://metro.co.uk/2015/08/16/why-the-h ... l-5345804/

At times there was nobody in-camera, as the cameraman couldn't keep pace.

Public-speaking Rule Number One: Look your audience in the eye and engage.

Still, we got a great view of London in the background.

Nigel

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rob565uk
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joke of the day

Post by rob565uk » Mon Aug 17, 2015 12:32 pm

Maybe he thinks a moving target is harder to hit!

In my view, Gordon Brown is notable for only four reasons:

1. As Chancellor, his abolition of Advanced Corporation Tax (ACT) relief hammered pension funds and wiped between £100 and £150 bn off the funds, all to fuel Labour's profligate spending

2. As Chancellor, selling off Britain's gold reserves at a knock-down price that lost us £7bn

3. Being the least effective Prime Minister this country has ever seen

4. Being the Tories' best asset in the 2010 elections by ensuring Labour failed to be re-elected

I have absolutely no time or regard for him.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it

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mtskull
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Re: joke of the day

Post by mtskull » Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 am

rob565uk wrote:Maybe he thinks a moving target is harder to hit!

In my view, Gordon Brown is notable for only four reasons:

1. As Chancellor, his abolition of Advanced Corporation Tax (ACT) relief hammered pension funds and wiped between £100 and £150 bn off the funds, all to fuel Labour's profligate spending

2. As Chancellor, selling off Britain's gold reserves at a knock-down price that lost us £7bn

3. Being the least effective Prime Minister this country has ever seen

4. Being the Tories' best asset in the 2010 elections by ensuring Labour failed to be re-elected

I have absolutely no time or regard for him.
You are entirely entitled to your view regarding subjective matters such as relative effectiveness of prime ministers, being the Tories' best asset etc. but the issues surrounding your two other examples are a little too complex to be fairly summarised in those terms.

There is a wealth of independent information and analysis about this in the public domain; as a starting point I would suggest these articles:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters ... _raid.html

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/5788dbac-7680 ... abdc0.html
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.

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Renegadenemo
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Renegadenemo » Sat Aug 22, 2015 11:03 am

Well that one had me in stitches...
I'm only a plumber from Cannock...

"As to reward, my profession is its own reward;" Sherlock Holmes

Voltaire's apology when he wrote a long letter: "I didn't have time to make it shorter."

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rob565uk
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Re: joke of the day

Post by rob565uk » Sat Aug 22, 2015 11:41 am

Acutely observed as usual Mr Smith!

When you come to a fork in the road, take it

quicksilver-wsr
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Re: joke of the day

Post by quicksilver-wsr » Sun Aug 23, 2015 3:30 pm

Well, since it was my fault the serious matter of politics entered the forum's Comedy Channel, I'll make amends and bring things back on-track with this little snippet which brought me some amusement the other day ...

I was delving through some company-history data, looking for something else, when I happened on an entry for one company registered CAN'T FAIL LTD.

Alongside, and this is what made me chuckle, were the words COMPANY NOW DISSOLVED.

It reminded me of one of my own favourite mottos - one that I have found to be perfectly true, based on long experience. "Optimism is the feeling you have before you know better."

Nigel

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rob565uk
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Re: joke of the day

Post by rob565uk » Sun Aug 23, 2015 5:33 pm

Also expressed as:

The definition of a Pessimist is an Optimist with experience

When you come to a fork in the road, take it

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