- Posts: 644
- Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:22 pm
- Location: Paisley Scotland
"My wife has a furniture problem-her chest has fallen down into her drawers"!-
"I hate two faced people-don't know which face to punch first!"
- Posts: 4410
- Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:57 pm
Tickets for the Pope's visit now available on eBay- immediate payment required via papal.
- Posts: 813
- Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:02 pm
- Location: St Helens, Merseyside
I went to a restaurant that advertises "Breakfast at Any Time", but was asked to leave when I ordered Full English Breakfast during the Renaissance.
When you come to a fork in the road, take it
- Posts: 431
- Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:45 pm
Bear with me chaps, I will think of a printable one shortly.
The moment you make something idiot proof a new breed of idiots will come along and prove you wrong
I had to divorce my first wife because of religious reasons. She thought she was God whereas i didn't.
- Site Admin
- Posts: 379
- Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:49 pm
Fact of life...After Monday & Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F !!
If it can't be fixed with duck tape it can't be fixed
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"
Facebook is to socialising is what masturbation is to sex
- Posts: 123
- Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:25 am
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
- Posts: 4372
- Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2008 12:29 pm
- Location: N E England
Did you know, the Chinese name their kids by throwing a handful of cutlery on the floor and naming them after the noise it makes...
I'm only a plumber from Cannock...
"As to reward, my profession is its own reward;" Sherlock Holmes.
I have wrought my simple plan
If I give one hour of joy
To the boy who’s half a man,
Or the man who’s half a boy.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
- Posts: 1062
- Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2009 10:29 pm
"Who's 50 and sleeps with cats?"
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:32 pm
- Location: West Yorkshire
A girl walked into a pub and said to the barman: "I'd like a double entendre please", so the barman gave her one.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.