joke of the day

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klingon
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joke of the day

Post by klingon » Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:27 pm

"My wife has a furniture problem-her chest has fallen down into her drawers"!- :)
"I hate two faced people-don't know which face to punch first!"

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Mike Bull
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Mike Bull » Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:30 pm

Tickets for the Pope's visit now available on eBay- immediate payment required via papal.

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rob565uk
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Re: joke of the day

Post by rob565uk » Sun Sep 19, 2010 2:25 pm

I went to a restaurant that advertises "Breakfast at Any Time", but was asked to leave when I ordered Full English Breakfast during the Renaissance.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it

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bluebirdsback
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Re: joke of the day

Post by bluebirdsback » Sun Sep 19, 2010 3:18 pm

Bear with me chaps, I will think of a printable one shortly.
The moment you make something idiot proof a new breed of idiots will come along and prove you wrong

orgster1

Re: joke of the day

Post by orgster1 » Sun Sep 19, 2010 3:31 pm

I had to divorce my first wife because of religious reasons. She thought she was God whereas i didn't.

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Piston Broke
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Piston Broke » Sun Sep 19, 2010 3:41 pm

Fact of life...After Monday & Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F !!
If it can't be fixed with duck tape it can't be fixed
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"
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wbjohn
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Re: joke of the day

Post by wbjohn » Sun Sep 19, 2010 4:18 pm

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

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Renegadenemo
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Renegadenemo » Sun Sep 19, 2010 5:44 pm

Did you know, the Chinese name their kids by throwing a handful of cutlery on the floor and naming them after the noise it makes...
I'm only a plumber from Cannock...

"As to reward, my profession is its own reward;" Sherlock Holmes

Voltaire's apology when he wrote a long letter: "I didn't have time to make it shorter."

quicksilver-wsr
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Re: joke of the day

Post by quicksilver-wsr » Sun Sep 19, 2010 5:59 pm

"Who's 50 and sleeps with cats?"

Mrs Katz.

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mtskull
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Re: joke of the day

Post by mtskull » Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:23 pm

A girl walked into a pub and said to the barman: "I'd like a double entendre please", so the barman gave her one.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.

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