A man goes to the doctor in excruciating pain.
"You have to help me doc, I'm in agony! The pain starts in my left testicle, shoots down the inside of my left leg, through my left ankle, up the outside of my left leg, across my lower back, down the outside of my right leg, through my right ankle, up the inside of my right leg and them hits my right testicle like a lightning bolt!"
After several weeks and every test the doctor can think of, he finally concludes "Well, in light of the fact that we can't find anything physically wrong, given that the pain originates and terminates in your testicles, I'm afraid the only thing I can suggest is castration"
"Do it doc! The pain is so great, I really don't care any more!"
The man goes in for the op and comes out pain-free for the first time in years. So pleased is he that he decides to treat himself to a tailored suit and heads off to Saville Row. After going through te rigmarole of measuring, the tailor finally asks "And how does Sir dress?"
"It doesn't matter", replies the man.
"It's actually rather important for comfort, Sir, so I must know in order for the 'cut' to be right"
"Really, it's not a problem, you see, I had to be castrated recently because of a medical condition"
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that, Sir, but I had to ask because, if the 'cut' is wrong, it can cause an excruciating pain to start in one testicle, shoot down the inside of one leg, through the ankle..."
One by one, the penguins are stealing my sanity...