joke of the day

[mtskull]

I have been trying to give up sexual innuendo for Lent, but It's so hard.....

[Mike Bull]

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[Terminator]

[Mike Bull]

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[kevinbacon]

ahahaha..nice jokes..i really enjoyed it.You have done a great work.I really appreciate your effort.Thanks keep up the good work!

[thunderer]

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more.

For the second time, attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!'

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."

[rob565uk]

Last night I was stopped by the police around 2am and was asked where I was going at that time of night.

I replied, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer then asked, "Oh really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"


I replied, "That would be my wife."

[rob565uk]

EU Organisational Chart

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[rob565uk]

Now that he's dead, a film is being made of Eddie Stobart's life.

I've just seen the trailer

[Piston Broke]

Last night I reached for my liquid viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke this morning with a huge correction.

I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail. I looked round and this bloke shouts, 'That's just for starters!'